Not at all

So here’s a story…

You’re on your way to a party for a friend you haven’t really kept in touch with. You’ve seen her a couple of times over the years and that’s it. You decide to go, it could be fun and there will be other people you haven’t seen in a while.

So you arrive, but you can’t find her apartment. There are just so many complexes. Luckily, you had the foresight to put the hostess’s number in your phone. But the friend you’re with, the one you’ve known for 16 years, says it’s probably best to call someone else, since she’ll probably be busy doing stuff. Makes sense. When you call, you find out that the other friend isn’t going. It turns out none of the other people you know are going.

So you and bff have a talk. It’s probably going to be awkward, what with you two – the hostess – and the hostess’s friends. 3 distinct groups. And honestly, you’re the worst when it comes to meeting new people. Though, you did drive around before, assembling the most awesome gift in the world. And more excuses start showing up – bff has class in the morning, your project at work is due in about a week. All these things are in the air and you and bff make a decision – not to go.

But, to prove that you guys are better than Hitler, you two come up with an alternative plan. Gather the people who didn’t go + hostess, and do something with them – like the classic dinner/movie. Sounds like a plan. So you head to Krystal’s – the direct to video version of Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. And at Krystal’s you have the saltiest food known to man. Salt salt salt.

But when you awake in the morning, you realize that you’re a horrible person, and really would it have killed you to go? Maybe. You’re social anathema.